Available now: Farm Girl!

Dear long neglected blog... I have some news to share...

 My debut novel, Farm Girl, is now available for purchase on Amazon in eBook and paperback!

From the back cover:

When Beatrix Hampton, a travel photographer with a passport full of stamps but no permanent address, finds herself searching for stability she heads to the quiet town of Cumberland, Massachusetts. Here, she is embraced by the people and town she spent much of her childhood with, including family friend Cliff Finley and his apple orchard. Bea finds solace in the rhythms of harvest season, but as secrets are unearthed she discovers her ties to the orchard are more than sentimental. Bea must make a decision: will she run like she always does, or stay and help save Finley Orchards? 



I've spent over three years with Bea, Cliff, and Graham in the fictional town of Cumberland, and they are so dear to my heart. I'm thrilled to finally be able to share them with you! My most sincere hope is that you not only read the story, but that you get swept up in it's sense of place, find the characters thoughtful and complex, maybe shed a few tears, and overall love the book. 

Over the coming weeks keep an eye on my social media channels as I'll be posting at least one giveaway over on Instagram, as well as a special giveaway for my newsletter subscribers {click here to hop on the list if you haven't already!}

It would mean the world to me if you could help me spread the word by sharing about Farm Girl by any means you see fit. If you post online, feel free to tag me! 

Thank you for joining me on the adventure that is self-publishing a novel. This is a dream come true for me, and I hope you enjoy reading Farm Girl. 

easing out of vacation


Vacation came and went and there's little proof but a few photos and a small pile of Florida sand that made it's way into my bedroom carpet. Sunday evening we sat at home, and the four of us looked at each other and all wondered out loud, "did that really happen?" That's what nearly six days in the car, and four days of jam packed activities in the Florida sunshine will do to you. It was a beautiful whirlwind of a trip, and within it we created many memories of laughter, adventure, and family legends. 

Now we're home where the wind is still chilling bones, though the calendar says otherwise. Yesterday I drove Lucas to the train station and watched the nearly full moon set low in the horizon. It was breathtaking, the glow and fullness. By the time I pulled away from the car park the moon was gone, tucked in for the daylight hours and the sky laid in wait of the sun. 

The days are flying fast and hard and instead of tightening my grip, I'm easing into the flow of it all. In working on what feels right, and resting when my body needs rest. In starting off gently with breakfast on the couch and kids tucked into my side, and housework nestled in the corners instead of it taking up prime real estate in our waking hours. In laying the groundwork for play and creativity and work, and finding the sweet spot where they intersect and the magic happens. 

It's also in pulling back from a weekly commitment to blogging. I may or may not show up here every Wednesday. I'm giving myself some grace and ease as I dive into other projects that are calling to me, like another round of edits on Farm Girl and furthering the word count on the new novel. {The best way to stay in the know about this space is to sign up for my mailing list, or to have blog posts emailed to you as they get published (you can do so on the side bar)}

A new season, a full moon, a new perspective. Spring is all about uncovering the shoots and buds, giving them room to grow, allowing and nurturing, cultivating. What's being unearthed for you this season?





Guest Post: Jennie Booth

The following is a post by my dear friend Jennie Booth. She's a writer of young adult fiction, contemporary stories, an avid reader, a nature enthusiast, and one of the few trusted people I text when I'm having a writer crisis! I'm so happy to share her words with you today. Thanks Jennie!
When Corinne asked me if I wanted to write a guest post for her blog I had gobs of ideas. Things like how nature helps me be a better writer...why I write...how my goal of finally reading all the books I own is going...and so many more. But as I sat down at the computer, none of them felt right until I thought about Corinne.

Friendship.
It’s such a big word with many definitions and looks and needs. Books have brought me some of my very best friends into my life, both fictional and real. They’ve carried me through rough times and my most joyous days. And when I started writing to pursue publication, I became connected to a support system of individuals who understand the yo-yo of creating art. I’ve found that this group of people is possibly more necessary to my creative process than putting my butt in the chair to do the actual creating.

We all know critique partners are important in writing (and other forms of creative expression, I’m sure) but it takes more than thoughtful criticism to carry an artist through the cloudy times. Having that person you can text/call/message and let out all the fears over publishing (Is it ever gonna happen?) and revisions (I’m making the story worse, I know it!) and an empty creative well (I’m never going to have another idea!) is necessary. Writing may feel like a solo experience when you’re deep into putting words on the page, but I think creativity really shines when it becomes a team effort.
As much as social media can be a time-suck and a whirlpool of false impressions and half-truths, I’m thankful that it has connected me with writer friends like Corinne. She’s given me valuable insight on my novels and ideas, listened to me wallow, and given me pep talks that kept me moving forward. Knowing that she’s on the other end of a text message has honestly meant so much to me.

Five years ago, I went to the first meeting of a library writers group and met my new best friend, Niki Lenz, there. Her middle grade debut comes out later this month and I am beyond excited to celebrate her success. I wouldn’t be the writer I am--or the person I am--now without Niki’s friendship.

And those are just two of many, many others who have traveled with me on this journey. So instead of sharing writing tips or parenting stories here today, I want to fill this space with thankfulness.
Who has helped you along the way? Who would you like to thank? I’d love for you to share your answers in the comments, but don’t stop there. Go and tell those people, too. Spread love and thankfulness into the world today, friends!


If you'd like to connect with Jennie, you can find her on Instagram @jenniereadsandwrites

A quick ode to knitting


My knitting life has been varied as of late. Lots of projects, some knit with thoughtfully chosen and specifically bought wool,  others unexpected and creatively pieced together with yarn from my stash. A ribbed hat made from sport weight yarn on needles so small they blistered the ends of my fingers after a week of constant ribbed knitting, another that was over and done with in two days. I finished a springtime sweater for myself, just in time for our upcoming road trip to Florida next week, and a pair of fingerless mitts made their way across the Atlantic to Sweden and a dear friend. 


Knitting holds a special place in my heart, for so many reasons. It's a balm, a creative outlet, a connection to my past, something I can pass on to my children, a meditation, an obsession, a nervous habit, a distraction, a tool for focusing, it's art and magic and finite and expansive. 


Writing and knitting go hand in hand for me, they compliment each other beautifully. Especially when in the early stages of a first draft, it's easy to get lost in the process. The vastness of the project. It feels endless and the daily word count a drop in the bucket compared to the final outcome. Knitting is almost a physical manifestation of the process... you can see something being created right in front of you, at your finger tips, in your lap. You can then hold your creation, wear it for all to see, and only you know the memories it contains. The silent prayers, the curse words at a dropped stitch, the daydreams and television shows you watched. The plot points you worked out while adding stitches and counting rows and hoping that you bought enough yarn to finish the sweater. 

Similarly to writing, there's hours of work that goes unseen even when someone looks directly at your project. Some of it is thankless and can be quite literally painful. But the hard work, the mind twisting patterns and numbers, the plot holes and complicated characters, all come together in the end in what is *hopefully* a piece of creative, soulful, and useful art. Books are art, anything hand knit is art, and both feel magical. You take an idea, you take a pattern, and breathe life into them. Poof, you have something that is timeless, something to put your name to and say, "I made that." 

Creating something out of nothing, that's what knitting and writing both feel like to me. And I love them both, and how they play off of each other and challenge me every step of the way. Even when faced with ease, there's still the question of how does this fit with the rest of the project, how does this work? Will this work? You don't know until the end. There's trust in both processes, but in such different ways. 

That is why I need a knitting project while I write, and a writing project while I knit: so I can remember to trust, myself and the process. To remember that every stitch counts, every word counts, and individually they might not amount to much - but together they make something useful and beautiful. Something timeless. 

~~~~~~~

Tomorrow my monthly newsletter goes out. If you haven't signed up to my mailing list yet, you can do so here. I promise I won't send you a gazillion emails!

Next week my family and I will be on vacation... but don't worry, there will still be a blog post next Wednesday! I'll be introducing you to a trusted writer friend of mine, Jennie Booth. I asked if she'd like to write a guest post for me, and she kindly agreed. I can't wait for you to meet her!


Tenderly lit corners


This winter I've been spending a lot of time alone. I've been searching out quiet spaces, tenderly lit corners, tending to myself by going to bed way before the rest of my family and getting up hours before the earliest riser stirs. 

These moments I'm taking for myself are non negotiable, and when I don't get them, I feel a disconnect down to my deepest core. 

Not all seasons are like this, needing such a drastic return, or introduction, to self care. 

And I don't mean self care in the bubble bath, chocolate sweets, binge watching shows and movies sort of way. I mean self care in the most sincere sense, care of self which comes by way of turning inwards and collecting the parts of self that haven't been heard recently together in a gathering... where the only goal is to hear oneself. All of the parts of self, even the disgruntled and hidden ones. 

It's beyond easy to disassociate from ourselves, the core of our being. We're living in a time where everything is fast, instant, and noise is constant. Not just by way of sound, but the incessant information being thrown at us. The clattering of voices - read, seen, heard - that forever sells us things that we don't need. Ideas. Thoughts. Judgments. Comparisons. 

Currently I'm healing a leaky gut, but I'm also tending to a weary heart. Tired from years of disconnect, tired of trying to fit into a mold, tired of trying to be good and nice and not rock boats or make waves. In doing all those things, for years, I've lost touch with my inner voice, and worse, my intuition. So consumed with doing things the 'right way', there's a steep learning curve in learning what is my way. The right way for me may not be the right way for anyone else. And that is a tough pill to swallow. 

It means not caring so much about what others think, not worrying about judgement, it means trusting in something that women for lifetimes have been told not to trust: themselves. Ourselves. Me.

And so I've been stealing away here and there, on weekend afternoons and weekday mornings. For moments, and sometimes hours at a time. With my books, tarot cards, notebooks and pens, and sometimes just myself, whatever tools I need to go further, to dig deeper, to listen better. The benefit in the process of excavating myself is that when I come out from my cave of sorts, I'm able to be more present with my family, and more loving towards myself and others. The closer we become to our honest, true selves, the brighter our lights shine. 

I'm listening, and I can't un-hear. Can't un-see. Can't un-know. 

I'm listening, and finding a connection to my self that can't be forced or rushed. One that has needed an undoing in order to become. 



Are you walking this path as well? Have you come to find yourself at this stage of life in different ways than you were able to previously? Have you read Women Who Run With The Wolves? It's a conduit for depth and seeking, and an invitation to reclaim intuition. Are there other books along the same vein that you would recommend? 


Where I'm From

This is an exercise that makes the rounds every now and then. I brought it out for my creative writing students yesterday. It's such a versatile, meaningful exercise that sounds good no matter how simple the vocabulary you use. I remember using it in a workshop, and then writing another version when I was blogging years ago. If you're interested, here's a template you can use to create your own poem.

If you write your own version, let me know, I'd love to read it! 

Where I'm From

I am from Ten Rod Road, garden hoses and sprinklers all summer long, Ball jars that pop on sticky afternoons, and T's salsa. 

I am from shared bedrooms, revolving furniture, forever open doors. 

I am from the daffodil beds, the tire swing, the scent of lilacs on spring breezes. 

I am from shoes set out for Saint Nicholas, Easter dresses and patent leather, from deep and long held grudges, from Dorothy and Rae, Mary Jane, Tee and all the sisters. 

I am from seamstresses and pipe fitters, quilters and dancers, from strong willed and tough love and lots of laughter. 

From because I said so and make do and be good and I love you. 

I am from kitchen sink baptisms, maroon fabric covered cushions in the Congregational church pews, from choir songs and natures hymns of birdsong. 

I am from the hills of Johnstown, from Germany, Ireland, and Wales, from Saint Patrick and Saint Lucia, warm potato salad, pork and sauerkraut, apple pie and chocolate cake for breakfast.

From unions, Temple, and tales from Elkins Park. From rosary beads and a portrait brought home from the war. 

I am from telescopes and kaleidoscopes, from photo collages in the hall and sepia toned photographs kept in shoe boxes, from hand sewn clothes and quilts and stories...

November rambles


November is here, and it came with it's predictable moodiness. Overcast weather, drizzles for days, and a foreboding sense of winter. 

I love it. 

For those of us who love quiet, and a slower pace of life, November is something of a treat. Especially early November, where it's nearly too early to start focusing on the holidays, but they're still in sight as a balm for when the grey gets to be too much. And let's be real, there does come a time when it's too much. But to stave off the dreariness there's fairy lights and glowing candles and before long the next season of The Great British Bake Off drops in the US on Netflix (the 9th!). 

These early November days I'm thinking about what I'm interested in and want to write about in this space, aside from writing about writing. I keep coming back to the idea of slow living, and I want to expand on that. Slow, intentional, minimal... all buzz words, I know, but they resonate deeply for me. In slowing down, I always learn about myself, and notice more about the world around me, and how I want to exist in the world. 

At the same time, it's a choice that comes with privilege, to slow down. I find it increasingly painful to read about minimalism and anything remotely to do with self help and the wellness industry because of how glaringly obvious it is that there's misrepresentation happening, cultural appropriation right and left, and a lack of self awareness and privilege. 

I'm not sure where that leaves me, except to share my own experience, acknowledging the privileges I'm afforded. 

And my experience? It's about how my body does not do well in a hurried state. A rushed state. A loud and noisy and stressful state. And how I'm starting to think maybe it's our society and culture that is troubled, and not me. 

Or at least, maybe our society could do a better job of accepting people who are not in it for the money, who aren't in it for the glory, who aren't in it to keep up with the Jones's, but who want to exist in a way that keeps them content and doesn't hurt anyone else in the process. 

I want to talk about living in a way that isn't exactly mainstream. About motherhood, but more so, about how someone who is extremely introverted feels about mothering growing children. About becoming more eco-friendly... in our kitchen and with our wardrobes. 

This season, there may be a shift in this space, and at this very moment I want to extend a preemptive olive branch: by speaking about any of these topics, I am not condemning your way of living. I will be sharing what works for me, in hopes that maybe a bit will resonate with you, or perhaps you could learn something new, or spark some interest. As with everything I write here, I write for myself, but I also write with the thought that maybe someone needs to hear what I have to say.. and that person might feel less alone after reading my words. 

That's what happened last week, when I shared about my roller coaster of emotions that comes with rejection. I'll tell you something, it helps me to hear that others are in the same boat. So it often comes full circle, and a bit of vulnerability can go a long way. 

Thank you for reading my ramblings, I wasn't sure what I was going to share today when I opened up a new blog post, sometimes my favorite bits of writing come spilling out without a plan or an outline, they flow as they see fit.

voice


It's the end of October, and as cliche as it is to say, I don't know where the month went. Last I knew we were gearing up for a road trip and various visits and field trips and a month of activities, and here we are on the other side with heads spinning and candy bowls overflowing and sugar highs all around. 

In the midst of the comings and goings of family life, this month I've made another push forward with agent queries. I've sent out quite a few, and have received quite a few more rejections. Some flat out no's, some encouraging messages, and another one to add to a growing pile of "I like the concept, but the voice is wrong for me." 

The voice is wrong. 

Of course, upon receipt of such feedback I spiral, thinking about how terrible my writing must be, and vividly picture myself throwing my novel into the recycling bin, all the notebooks and sticky notes, the printed - and digital - copies. I imagine what life would be like without writing. Reading for the sake of utter enjoyment, not ever thinking, "yeah, I'd like to write book someday." 

The thing is, I've already written a book. Several. I may need to write a few more for one to stick.

The other thing is, logically I know this is something newbie writers struggle with: finding their voice. 

I've been thinking for hours about voice. My voice. About how I've cultivated a voice in my blog writing, and in my longer Instagram posts, the style I write in, and the depths I dive. How I struggled to translate that into fiction, and how when I was writing Farm Girl, at times I felt like I was skimming the surface. How I didn't think the voice used in my creative non fiction was worthy of fiction. How every single time Tori Amos's song Silent All These Years plays I weep. About trusting our voices, no matter the context, no matter the medium, and how often I simply don't. How I use my voice, or don't, daily. How impossible it is to hear our own voices in the din of constant media thrown at us from all angles. How voice and ideas dance, and the execution of both is work. How no matter how many times I say, "if you bring a dish to the sink, and there's no dishes in it, please wash your dish" the dishes occasionally pile up in the sink.

I'm thinking about how the times I think least about the specifics of my writing voice (like getting it right...) the more authentic it is. 

Because let's face it, the Instagram captions and these blog posts get less attention than a single sentence of my novel... 

So, I'm thinking about voice today, and thinking about how the only way to really get to where I want to be is to write more. Here, there, everywhere. Because that pit in my stomach that comes up whenever I think about reading a really good novel and thinking to myself, "yeah, I tried doing that. It didn't work out," is uncomfortable, downright painful, and I'm not willing to live with it quite yet. 


~~~~~

I'll be sending out my monthly newsletter tomorrow... 
If you are interested and haven't signed up yet, head over here to do so!

When NaNoWriMo isn't for you



Last week I wrote about how great NaNoWriMo is and gave a handful of tips for those of you participating in the challenge. 

And now this week, I'm here to say I've changed my mind. I'm not going to participate this year.

Earth shattering stuff, right? Not really. 

But, we don't often talk about when we change our minds and decide NOT to do something we said we would do. How often do we back out of something, stick our head in the sand, and never discuss the matter? I think it's because quitting, or if it looks like we're quitting, is somehow shameful in our society. 

It's not. So many times, quitting (or whatever word you want to use here) comes down to someone changing their mind. 

We're allowed to do that. People change. Circumstances change. 

Or, as so often happens with me, you get excited when you first think of something, decide it's a great idea, only to think about it as the days go on and realize it isn't the right choice for you. 

Over the last few years, I've tried to listen to my gut, to think before I act and speak, and to give myself time to process ideas before making a decision. I didn't do that with NaNoWriMo earlier this month. I got swept up in the excitement of it, remembering the fun of years past, and compared those feelings to those associated with the slow steady work that has been my writing life as of late... the two years and then some it took to write my latest novel, and the months it's taking to find an agent.

Ultimately, I forgot the process that fits with my life. 

By late last week I felt a growing sense of dread. I couldn't even think about planning and plotting my next story, because what was the point? I was just going to spend November freewriting and getting words in, and then after the month was over I could see what I had and go from there. I'd have 50,000 words to work with and weed through, and that would be amazing. 

Over the weekend I realized that the very thought of working through 50,000 quickly written words was the very thing that was filling me with dread, and I hadn't even written the words yet. 

And then, I gave myself permission to say no. To change my mind. To examine my life and remember what works for me, what my limitations are and be realistic in order to continue a writing life that is fulfilling, and sustainable. 

I am certain that there will be times when I'll be able to do NaNoWriMo again. But right now, as a homeschooling mom who is just finding her groove with so many things, I'm not willing to jeopardize my sanity, my sleep, my time, for those 50,000 words. 

What I am willing to do is cheer all of you on who are participating, and get to work on my next book in a way that makes sense for me, right now. Slow and steady. Like so many things in my life, slow and steady progress made by creating and meeting small achievable goals, is the way to success. My family and I live a purposefully slow life that meets the demands of all our personalities. This is not a hindrance. Hustling is not in any of our natures, and when one of us is hustling, it effects the rest of us. 

At this point in my life, I'm unwilling to let the culture of busy and hustle get the better of me. Even if that means backing out of commitments and challenges and anything that does not feel like it is a good fit. 

I'd invite you to do the same. Whether that means jumping into NaNoWriMo or not (again, read last weeks post! I think NaNo is a great thing! I fully support you if you're doing it next month!) 

I'm willing to bet our world would be a better place if we could all have the freedom to change our minds and say no when something doesn't feel right. 

It might give us the space to explore what brings us joy and what makes us tick without judgement, or own or others. 

NaNoWriMo Tips



Last week I shared in my monthly newsletter that my plan for next month is to participate in National Novel Writing Month. If you haven't heard of it before, you sign up and accept the challenge of writing 50,000 words over the course of November (roughly 1,666 words per day). I've won three times (which simply means I hit the word count goal) and while I haven't done much with any of those novels since, I've enjoyed the process and the practice it's given me. 

I thought I would share some tips and tidbits I've learned over the years that have helped me break down NaNoWriMo to make it seem more manageable. It's a little late in the game for tips on preparing for the challenge, so I'll share things that help me get through the month. If you're looking for prep tips, they're just a google search away :) 

  • Tell your friends and loved ones you're taking part in the challenge. Not only will it help with accountability, but it will also help them to understand why maybe you aren't as fully present as you usually are! 
  • Ask for help with things you usually do. For me, it's the household stuff, cooking dinners and laundry, things I like to stay on top of to make life easier in general. Those things tend to slide in November, and I care less when my family knows it's going to happen, and they're willing to help.
  • Find a group! Whether it's in person or online, NaNoWriMo works better if you have a community of writers who are doing the same crazy challenge that you are, helping you feel less alone. The NaNo site is a great place to find local meet ups, and search by #nanowrimo2018 on social media to find other people online so you can cheer on each other. 
  • Get ahead early on in the month. While the daily word count goal is around 1,600 words, aim for 2,000 a day in the first week. Bank any extra words so that you are ahead of the game if you get sick, have to cook a big Thanksgiving spread, emergencies pop up, or you just want a day off.
  • Writing sprints. Whether on your own or with others, set the time for a certain amount of time (ten or fifteen minutes) and see how many words you can write. A few of those in an hour can get you to your daily word count goal. 
  • Write first thing in the morning. Or in the evening. Or in little bits and pieces throughout the day. Mostly, write in whatever way fits with your lifestyle, and works best for YOU. 
  • Get out of the house and write at a cafe. Or the library. A change in space can do a wonder for your mood, especially midway through the month when it feels like things are stalling and you feel like you can't go on any more. 
  • Take a break. If you've banked some words, take advantage of that and take a day off. It'll be okay.
  • Just keep writing. Don't edit. Don't judge your words. Just write. The main goal of NaNoWriMo is simply to write 50,000 words. Hopefully of a story, but mostly just words. They're not supposed to be perfect. They're not supposed to be polished. They're not supposed to be linear. They're not even supposed to be coherent! They are supposed to be words typed on a page. That's it. 
  • Don't judge your first draft. Whether it's written in a month or longer, it doesn't matter. 50,000 words isn't a full fledged novel in general, so regardless of what gets written, you'll need to finish the story and edit after November anyway. 
  • Make small goals, and reward yourself when you achieve them. Maybe it's at every 10,000 words, or only the halfway point. I like to buy myself a few treats, like nice chocolate bars or boxes of tea, and save them for meeting various goals. For someone who is goal oriented like myself, it works well!
  • Have FUN. Remind yourself that writing can be fun. Challenges like this are just that, challenges, but the goal is to have fun at the same time. 
The best part of NaNoWriMo is at the end when you see what you've created. Whether you meet the big goal of 50,000 words or not, you created something out of nothing. 

NaNoWriMo is a magical thing. While often it's something people check off of their bucket list, for others it's a starting point. The first novel I ever wrote was during NaNoWriMo back in 2013, and it gave me the confidence I needed to move forward knowing that I could write a story (bare bones as it was) that had a beginning, middle, and an ending. 

I can guarantee you that if it weren't for my early novels, I wouldn't be trying to find a home for Farm Girl today. 

So have fun, write on, and let me know if you're participating or not! Head over to the NaNoWriMo site and find me, my username is crnnoel, I'd love to be a buddy and cheer on your adventure.

~~~~

I also want to note really quickly that I turned off the comments for my blog posts. This isn't because I don't want to hear from you, quite the opposite actually. I find it difficult to respond to blog comments because I'm unsure if I should respond via email, or via this space, where people will see the response... and sometimes the blog comments come in without an email attached to it and that leaves out that option, but the comment warrants a personal response I may not want to share here. 

So what I've done is opened up a permanent contact submission form that you can find at the bottom of the website. Feel free to email any time! I love having conversations about my blog posts and your experiences and all the things, but most often I prefer to have them one on one. There are so many ways for us to be in touch via social media, that another space to have public conversations is wearing on me. I hope you'll understand! 


20 ways to jump start your creativity


~take a walk
~leave your phone at home
~go screen free for an hour, a day, a week...
~bake something, maybe a loaf or two of pumpkin bread
~try a new medium of art. Paint, draw, knit, crochet, collage, calligraphy.
~take yourself on a date to someplace you've always wanted to go
~play tourist in your town or city
~read outside your usual genre
~write outside of your usual genre
~make a list of things you love
~make a list of words that start with a specific letter
~make a list of lists you want to make
~give yourself permission to daydream
~think about what you used to love as a child
~watch a favorite movie with the intent of noticing something new
~look for patterns, in nature, in your daily activities, in your thought patterns
~go outside and sit with your eyes closed for ten minutes
~follow a butterfly
~journal. Write without stopping, even if you only write one word over and over and over again... see what comes up
~move with the intent of exploration and a sense of curiosity, always



*next week we will be traveling, so there will not be a blog post and the monthly newsletter will go out the second Thursday of the month instead of the first. Take care!*





Ritual


The fans are still working overtime. Hot cups of tea are relegated for first thing in the morning, and then by mid afternoon I'm so desperate for the ritual that I sweat through a steaming mug... because that's what it's really about, the ritual. I've never figured out how to make iced tea that pleases my taste buds. Then, even if I make a half decent pitcher, a glass of the cool beverage disappears quickly. A few gulps, and it's gone. There's no waiting, no patience required, no gingerly testing, risking burned taste buds and that bit of spilled boiling water if you wince and pull the mug away from your lips too quickly. 

We turned the oven on the other day to make a cake to celebrate our return to the school year. Our calendar is filling up with activities and field trips, indoor climbing and birding with the local Audubon, some road tripping and many weekly hikes. Chocolate cake so moist and spongy, it was worth the warmth in the kitchen on an already sweltering day. The ritual, the celebration, the return. 

The kids bake every week, every Tuesday to be exact. They take turns selecting recipes and baking (mostly) on their own, and then they select poetry to read for Poetry Teatime, and we celebrate the every day beauty of words and sugar and togetherness. It's simple, this ritual, but in it's own way it's just as meaningful as the first cake of the school year. 

Noticing the importance of rituals and routines, while honoring the unexpected and impulsive, and noticing the ebb and flow of each is part of my life's work, I believe. I am a creature of habit, an introvert who loves the comfort of home and seek out cozy nooks and sofas where I can tuck my feet underneath me wherever I go. Knowing this about myself is half the battle. Loving this about myself is the other half. 

And so, summer has made me weary. I've lost myself a bit. I'm tired. I'm waiting patiently for the arrival of my most recent order of yarn so I can cast on for a new sweater. I'm ready to pack up the swimsuit and the boogie boards and wash the hand-knits and dust off my boots. I'm ready to not sweat as soon as I take a sip of midday tea. 

But for now I'll take those beads of sweat on my upper lip, and know that my rituals are carrying me through until a bit of ease creeps in with a change of weather patterns, and I can tuck my feet under me on the couch and throw a hot water bottle on my lap while knitting as a child reads aloud next to me, and the change of seasons breathes new life into all of us. 

Currently...



I'm writing this on July 3rd, and it's beyond hot. My brain is fuzzy with the heat and humidity, and so for this weeks blog posts I'm turning to a tried and true journal prompt...

Currently I'm...

Reading... Enough as She is, by Rachel Simmons (it's for a book club on raising girls, but let me tell you... I'm getting just as much out of this book for myself as I am for Paige), and Somewhere Beyond the Sea by Miranda Dickinson. 

Playing... endless games of Exploding Kittens with the kids.

Watching... Nailed It on Netflix (if you need a good laugh, be sure to start with Season One!), and Death in Paradise, also on Netflix ;)

Listening to... Frank Turner, non stop since Lucas and I saw him play in Boston on Sunday. His new album, Be More Kind, is brilliant, especially his song of the same title, "In a world that has decided it's going to lose it's mind, be more kind, my friends, try to be more kind..." and his song The Way I Tend To Be, from an older album, has these lines which I simply adore: "Love is about the changes you make and not just three small words." 

Working on... reminding myself that only I can find my own internal motivation, self confidence, and self belief, no one can do it for me.

Eating... all things grilled. We made these Hawaiian Chicken Kebabs over the weekend, and they were a huge hit! 

Wanting... a new tattoo... 

Needing... to speak kindly to my body, and to drink more water.

Loving... summer evenings on our porch. We've embraced eating alfresco, and have been lingering after dinner. I'm loving the connections and conversations this time affords for the four of us nightly. 

Thinking... about the second rejection I received for my manuscript, and how the first one gained high fives, but the second one I kept to myself for a few days. It stung. Not because I expected to hear anything positive at this point, but because the reality of the long road ahead sunk in on an already difficult day. I let self doubt creep in, and I talked myself out of how much I wanted to be on this journey very quickly. Luckily, after a few days I found myself again... thanks to a husband who listens until I answer my own questions, some inner searching, and loads of journaling... and I'm in this for the long haul. {Editing to add... the universe is definitely testing me, almost as soon as I typed the words "long haul" another rejection letter came in! I'm handling it much better this week... so that's something!}

Feeling... hot. 

Celebrating... the patriotic act of dissent. 

Grateful for... beach days, live music, iced tea, summer dresses, and hope.


{The newsletter will be going out on Thursday, per usual, though it may be later on the day depending on if I have a chance to pull it all together on the 4th or not! If you haven't signed up and would like to, click here. My mailing list is, at this point, simply one email on the first Thursday of the month. I write a bit of a personal letter, share links that I've found interesting, and the most recent blog posts all in one place.}



Noticing awe


A huge part of being a writer is awareness. Not necessarily of self, though that helps, but of awe inspiring things that go unnoticed to most. We're so busy, as a people and a society, that we hurry through our days and errands and hours and meetings and gatherings that often we don't hear what people are saying - or aren't saying - and we miss the glory of what surrounds us. The silly shapes of the clouds, the perfect climbing tree, the way someone winces when they think no one is looking, or the tender moment when a young man gently touches his mother's arm in the checkout line at the grocery store, and the look they share before moving forward. 

For me, it's a win win. I need to slow down and notice things to write, but then it becomes a practice and noticing, slowing down my mind and feet, ends up enhancing my daily life in ways that remind me of childhood. 

Giving myself the freedom to spend moments in awe, to allow my heart to expand and swell with wonder, makes me think back to those moments on walks with my children when they were toddlers and we would gently encourage them to keep moving, otherwise we'd stay in the same place for hours watching ants or picking dandelions (which we often did).

Now, they're the ones racing ahead as I lollygag on walks, taking pictures and daydreaming. 

Some of the things my jaw drops in awe over make it into a notebook, or more likely an Instagram post, but often they sit somewhere around my rib cage in a warm glow, waiting to be tapped into when I need a bit of warmth when the world feels cold, callous, and foreign. These small moments remind me of our shared humanity, but also of the natural world which will continue on well after my time on earth is over. The details of earth humble me, ground me, and I'm regularly overcome with awe.

Do you stop and smell the roses? Do stop in your tracks and marvel at nature? Do you notice details as you move through the day? Do you feel awe regularly? If your answer is no to any of these questions, what's stopping you?

Writing update: expectations, reality, and hope


The notebook pictured is full of scribbles pertaining to my novel. Several outlines, timelines, character sketches, full paragraphs, lines, sometimes only a word to jog my memory. It's fun to look through and see what stuck. What didn't. What might need to come back someday when an agent or editor has suggestions. 

Last week I began the process of querying literary agents. Prior to that I worked on a query letter template, with the help of a few patient people who held my hand and read my words. I struggled over tone, word choice, and how to capture the essence of a 100,000 word novel into three short paragraphs. But it's done, and after the first email submission, I felt a sense of relief. 

It's a process, getting your novel out into the world. I don't expect to hear anything from anyone anytime soon. But, I do hope that my email will fall into the right inbox at some point. 

Before I hit send to the first literary agent on my list, I had to dig deep and ask myself the question I've been avoiding for months:

Will I be okay with rejection? 

I don't truly know the answer to that. But I'm doing my best to keep my chin up. I hope that keeping some perspective about the business of publishing and realizing that it's all just the nature of the beast, and not necessarily my writing, will help. I've never taken rejection, or criticism well. Writing groups have helped me tremendously with handling criticism. But rejection, it still stings. The fear of it holds me back. But I'm tired of holding myself back, of giving in to fear and letting what I believe other people think of me and my work keep me from pursuing my dreams.

My goal for the summer is to send out as many query letters as possible, and hope that one will stick. While doing so, I'm planning on enjoying time with my children, countless trips to the beach, and some serious self care rituals and routines. For me, that includes getting up early, writing morning pages while sipping tea, exercise, dry brushing {I find it so therapeutic! Look it up if you haven't heard of it}, drinking lots of water, connecting with my husband, and remembering that while my book and my writing is important to me, my worth, my value as a human being, does not rely on finding an agent, and having my book traditionally published. 

But yeah, it'd be nice if I could find a literary agent to represent my book sooner rather than later. 

Managing expectations and reality while staying mildly optimistic will be the true work of my summer. Maybe my life...

Top 10 Books on Writing


Over the past few weeks, several people have asked about my favorite books on writing, and I figured perhaps a few of you might be interested in my top books on writing as well. Below are my favorite books about writing and creativity...

My Top Ten Books on Writing
  1. The Writing Life by Annie Dillard. This tiny book packs a punch. Not only is it full of solid advice ("Appealing workplaces are to be avoided. One wants a room with no view, so imagination can meet memory in the dark.") but Dillard also finds a way to breath exquisite prose into a book that is about so much more than just writing. One of my favorite passages reads, "The feeling that the work is magnificent, and the feeling that it is abominable, are both mosquitoes to be repelled, ignored, or killed, but not indulged."
  2. Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg. My copy (which is actually Lucas's copy... shhh...) is dogeared and filled with markings, highlighted passages. It is a classic title which most who have studied writing in some way or another have heard about. Goldberg champions mindfulness, having a (flexible) practice, and a healthy view of writing and relationships between the self and the world around. She writes, "I want someone to know me. We walk through so many myths of each other and ourselves, we are so thankful when someone sees us for who we are and accepts us." and later in the same chapter, Artistic Stability, "If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you." Yes, yes, yes.
  3. The Courage to Write by Ralph Keyes. This is a recent favorite of mine. It's the kind of book that takes you to a little coffee shop with a trusted mentor, someone who tells it like it is, doesn't let you get away with anything, but who smiles kindly and pats you on the shoulder and tells you that it'll all be okay, you just need to work hard and be persistent. In this day and age of social media and likes and followers, Keyes words strike me as timely: "Popularity is a serious brake on artistic expression of any kind. If people like you - and you expect them to like you - the risk of doing anything controversial, or saying anything revealing, is profound." 
  4. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Yet another classic, I have yet to meet anyone who dislikes this book! I've read this book several times, cover to cover and also in sections when needed. I read it first at a pivotal point in my life, at a time when I was reading anything and everything by Lamott. I'm not the first person to say it, but through her books she held my hand and walked me through the tender early days of sobriety, but also the early days as a writer when I wasn't quite ready to take myself seriously. In reading this book, it felt like I had someone in my corner cheering for me. 
  5. Stop Worrying, Start Writing: How to Overcome Fear, Self-Doubt and Procrastination by Sarah Painter. I have long loved Sarah Painter's podcast, The Worried Writer, and was thrilled when she put out this non-fiction title. It's full of helpful tips, advice for showing up for your work, and focuses on writing as a practice. I love this gem from Painter: "At some point, if I ever wanted to be free of this continual self-doubt and second-guessing and terrible neediness, I was going to have to decide that I was good enough. That I deserved to be a writer. Not that I was instantly amazing and deserved success, not that I deserved to be universally adored, but that my words, my writing, my voice, my stories were worth creating. For myself."
  6. the War of Art by Steven Pressfield. This quick and easy read is a treasure to keep on hand for when you feel resistance lurking around your work space. It's a title that doesn't necessarily focus on writing, per say, but on creativity and the resistance that keeps us from getting to, and doing the work. This is perhaps my favorite section of the book: "Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it's the easiest to rationalize. We don't tell ourselves, 'I'm never going to write my symphony.' Instead we say, 'I'm going to write my symphony; I'm just going to start tomorrow.'" So true!
  7. Making a Literary Life by Carolyn See. Carolyn See gives you a step by step guide to changing your life in the most literary way, from suggestion writing to authors you admire, to writing a thousand words five days a week for the rest of your life. Her suggestions are spot on and her humor is what kept me turning the pages. She tells you flat out you might not like her advice, but you'll love the results. The final words in her book read, "If you love this world and this craft, they will lift you to a place you can't begin to imagine." I've done more for less... so I'll take her advice any day of the week.
  8. Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life by Dani Shapiro. Honest, personal, and to the point, Still Writing is broken into three parts: Beginnings, Middles, and Ends. Each section contains mini essays pertaining to each of those three writing processes. Middles helped me through some daunting moments mid novel, and made buying the book a second time (because my first copy accidentally got donated...) totally worthwhile! A favorite quote of mine is, "I've learned to be wary of those times when I think I know what I'm doing. I've discovered that my best work comes from the uncomfortable but fruitful feeling of not having a clue - of being worried, secretly afraid, even convinced that I'm on the wrong track." Completely reassuring to hear this one from one of my favorite authors.
  9. Outlining Your Novel by K.M.Weiland. I used this book, and the workbook companion, to plot out my current novel. I didn't use every question or technique, but it helped me in key ways to create complex characters in ways that I haven't been able to achieve in my other works of fiction. There's something to be said about reading a book at the exact time you need it, and that was the case with this book. 
  10. If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland. This may be my favorite book on writing, ever. Ueland is kind and generous in her writing, and encourages writers to be playful and experiment and to find joy in the work. She writes, "Everyone is talented, because everybody who is human has something to express." and “Everybody is original, if he tells the truth, if he speaks from himself. But it must be from his *true* self and not from the self he thinks he *should* be. ” and “No writing is a waste of time – no creative work where the feelings, the imagination, the intelligence must work. With every sentence you write, you have learned something. It has done you good.” There is no better book to curl up with if you want a reminder of the benefits of writing, for yourself, from your heart.
There are so many books on writing out there, and so many I haven't read yet! Story Genius, Wired for Story, The Plot Whisperer, and Steven King's classic On Writing, are all on to-be-read list. I hope I've introduced you to a few titles you may not have heard about... what are your favorite books on writing and creativity?


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spring, distractions, and the homestretch


It's spring here in Massachusetts, finally. 

That means school work, knitting, lunch, and mugs of tea on the porch. Toes warmed by the sun, and sweaters around our shoulders for when the wind inevitably starts up. It's a season of in between, especially in New England, where the weather can change abruptly, but we always hope for the best, knowing to always prepare for four seasons within one day. 

The weather and all of it's changes, the forsythia blooming at rapid speed, changing moment to moment, it's all a beautiful distraction for creative folks. There's so much to look at, to take in, it's a smorgasbord of sensory experiences. And let me tell you, I am easily distracted these days.

I'm at the tail end of the fourth draft of my novel, and I'm ready to be done. By the next blog post it should be completed - fingers and toes crossed. 

This isn't much of a post today, just a place holder until next week. My brain is tired, my creative energy is being used elsewhere, and I so desperately want to finish this book. I posted on Instagram Stories that I'm over it, and wish I had given myself a harder deadline than the end of April, because I never finish early. I'm a procrastinator, and yet a work horse, and would have finished weeks ago if I set the date as such. Now I know. Instead, I've worked slowly, methodically, through this draft with lots of wiggle room and places to move lazily along. Days off, sick days or busy days. Days to lose a bit of motivation... 

But here we go, into the homestretch. Until next week...